


The Art of Seduction: By Cynical Chat

by snacc_noir



Series: Prompt me cowards: Tumblr Ficlets [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, a piece of art, and concerning since i was very much in my element writing it, au where everything's the same except chat makes dark jokes, besides cursed, no other way to describe it, this is............, yeah quite cursed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snacc_noir/pseuds/snacc_noir
Summary: “Are you an angel?”Ladybug craned her neck, a passing look of confusion blindsided by his charismatic eye-flutter.“Because I wish I wasn’t alive, so that would be a great sign.”-Flirting 101 with our favourite dead-beat and sarcastic Chat(Cynical Chat AU)
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Prompt me cowards: Tumblr Ficlets [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738810
Comments: 6
Kudos: 152





	The Art of Seduction: By Cynical Chat

**Author's Note:**

> 12\. “Are you- are you trying to _seduce_ me right now?”
> 
> B. Cynical chat au
> 
> (this is already a mess but i cannot even imagine the effect of reading it with no context to 'cynical chat')

“Are you an angel?”

Chat didn’t know much about happiness _per se -_ some interchangeable enigma most everyone bar him had because he’s ~hipster~ like that - but he had a feeling Ladybug was pretty close.

Because there was just that… he didn’t know… some, _nice_ feeling he had around her? Ha! Um, not that Chat _had_ feelings of course, but if he _did_ they’d be stirring up a storm around her.

She was gorgeous. She was brave.

She didn’t expect him to be more than he was.

Ladybug was the only one close to his cynical persona; she still loved him as a friend without the expectations of him being positive and lively like he as Adrien had built himself to be.

He trusted her so much… felt so _close_ with her… that those inner snarks and thoughts and under breath disbelief just _came out_ more and more once he realised he _could_ be That Guy as Chat Noir.

He was in love with her.

She didn’t love him back, though.

(Ha, what else was fresh in his life?)

 _Apparently_ , his attempts of making her fall for him, like roses, candlelit dinners, alarmingly deep confessions, even _puns,_ weren’t the key. He believed it must have been the lack of _class_ , and besides how much Chat wanted to lie in garbage to be in his True Element most days, he was in fact, _classy_. And he would show it.

So anyway.

“Are you an angel?”

Ladybug craned her neck, a passing look of confusion blindsided by his charismatic eye-flutter.

“Because I wish I wasn’t alive, so that would be a great sign.”

Her drink’s straw fell from her mouth.

“Are you seriously doing this?”

“Yes.”

She pressed her head to the pink lemonde, muttering something about, “ _just one normal patrol…”_

“If looks could kill,” his tail swished theatrically as he strutted the rooftop, half-full beverage swirling, “then I’d love to have a staring contest.”

She scoffed, unable to wind back the smile.

Chat leaped beside where her legs swung off the roof and angled her chin up with a clawed finger. He was beaming, for whatever reason, and held her gaze tightly.

“You know what you and my father’s promise that he loves me have in common?”

Her lip hung below her straw, temptation too strong. “What?”

“I’ve fallen for both!”

She choked.

 _Oh good grief_ —

“Are you death? Because I’m craving you.”

Ladybug coiled a gloved hand to her cringing mouth, not sure what to respond, do, or _react_ in a way that didn’t involve slipping off the roof from shock. She’d heard his “jokes” before but _this_ was a whole new style.

Was this him… flirting?

“M’lady, you must be an eleven, because I’m the only negative-one you need in your life.”

She had turned to see him grinning on the roof, lying with his chin in a palm and a knee bent in a _paint me like one of your French girls_ pose that struck horror movie feels more than swooning. Because _what_.

His tail flicked. It knocked over his drink stupidly.

Cringing, he still tried to flirt his eyebrows.

Ladybug furrowed gets. “Are you- are you trying to _seduce_ me right now?”

“Is it working?”

Hang on-

 _Was_ it?

No, no! She loved Adrien. The stuff Chat was spewing was sad and not effective at all, since, what in all of Paris had him get up this morning and decide to prepare such absurd ‘pick up lines’ for patrol?

“No!”

He rolled his eyes, kicking himself up to stand beside the lake of blackish soda.

Chat grinned.

“Are you a black void of emptiness, because I feel you in my soul—”

“ _Chat_.”

Seduction didn’t work out, he found, but pink lemonade splashed at your face tasted almost as delicious.

**Author's Note:**

> if you want as much fulfilment in your life as Chat obviously has, check out my [ tumblr](https://snacc-noir.tumblr.com/) \- there's more cynical chat (tag: cynical chat au), more hopeless crack, and iconic posts *finger guns in sadness*


End file.
